Overcoming Resentment

Hi Guys! Welcome back and welcome to my first time visitors. I am so glad you stopped by!

I have been struggling with this topic myself for awhile. As I was studying and praying on how I could overcome the hurt from others that has caused me to be resentful, I thought it may be helpful for some of my viewers to hear what I have learned on this topic. I am going to share 3 things that I believe will help you overcome resentment. While they may seem simple and cliche, they are still challenging and will require intentionality on your behalf and effort. Please check out my video for an in depth discussion on these points.

1.  Self Reflection: What is my root?

I believe that bitterness and resentment are closely related. The bible describes bitterness as "root of bitterness" (Hebrews 12:15). When reading that verse in the New Living Translation, it reads "poisonous root of bitterness". Many of us understand the purpose of a root, a root is the anchor to the plant. The root stores food and water for future use, and smaller roots will spread from the main root to create an anchor. This is true of bitterness as well; bitterness spreads into many areas of our life, we find ourselves not only being angry at the person who caused us harm but those connected to that person as well. I have found myself disliking others simply because they are associated with someone who caused me harm. Bitterness is also deeply rooted into a person, which is why we must self reflect and identify the cause of our bitterness so that we can uproot this poison.

• Who am I holding resentment against? 
• Why am I resentful/angry with that individual (s)?
• How can I move past this resentment?

After answering these questions, self reflect on how you have harmed others in your life time. It isn't easy to reflect on but it puts things into perspective, whether intentional or unintentional harm, we have caused others to feel hurt by us as well and it is unfair to hold that against someone else when we are guilty of the same crime. Matthew 7:4 says, "How can you think of saying to your friend, 'Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,' when you can't see past the log in your own eye?" What this verse ultimately says is you can't correct someone else when you have your own issues to deal with. Luke 14:28 summarized says that a builder would not begin building any form of construction without first calculating the costs involved. I want to pose that scripture to you, and ask have you considered the cost of living a life of resentment?

    2.  Choose Forgiveness

I know what you are thinking, why would I forgive the person who hurt me? They were wrong. I get it, i truly do. I can only imagine the hurt of someone being abused by a family member, being back stabbed by someone considered a close friend, being hurt by a member of the church, and so on. I am not saying it will be easy but it will be beneficial to you. I am going to not only tell you the biblical benefit of forgiveness but also the health benefits of forgiveness, and there are many! Don't risk your health because of someone else.

Health Benefits of Forgiveness:

• Unconditional Forgiveness can lead to longer health span: Now, you may be thinking what? Keep on forgiving without conditions? Yes, that's exactly right! A 2011 study in Journal of Behavioral medicine stated that conditional forgiveness can lead to earlier deaths. Why? This type of forgiveness is waiting on an apology. Well as many of us know, you may not always get an apology. So you could be harboring unforgiveness in your heart until death. Just don't do it!
• Unforgiveness is associated with more anger. Those who don't forgive tend to be angrier. I can attest to this! I have been there, done that. More anger can lead to higher blood pressure and heart rates (John Hopkins Medicine).
• Forgiveness leads to decreased stress!
• Forgiveness helps improve your sleep! I can also attest to this, when I just move on and decide to forgive someone who has hurt me, I sleep like a baby. However, when i hold onto unforgiveness it creates anxiety and I just cannot sleep well. 
• Unforgiveness creates fatigue!
• Unforgiveness brings symptoms of anxiety and depression.
• Studies show that forgiveness creates a lower risk of alcohol or substance abuse.
• Forgiveness is biblical!!! We must forgive because we have been forgiven and if we continue to forgive we will continue to be forgiven!! Matthew 6:14 I don't know about you but I need that reassurance that I will be forgiven in the future.

Overall, forgiveness leads to a healthier state of mental health!

Please don't misunderstand, forgiveness does not mean you must rebuild a relationship with someone. You have the right to move on from this relationship and begin building relationships with others who will be beneficial to your mental health, your quality of life and your spirituality.

3. Pray for the offender

Well, if you have read this far I can understand your frustration with this last point. You've already forgiven them, now I want you to pray for them? Yep! Mark 6:35 says to pray for your enemies. Easier said than done trust me, I know. But I have tried this out in my personal life and the more I prayed for someone the less anger i felt towards them. It doesn't have to be anything super spiritual or deep, pray that they have a productive day, that they are successful in their career, that their marriage will be blessed, etc. I promise you over a weeks time you will feel less anger and you will find yourself praying more genuine prayers towards that person. This requires intentionality, and effort. Just try it out for a week, you aren't losing anything and it cannot hurt you.

While your offenders are moving on with their lives, resentment holds you back from moving on with yours. I want you to live your best life and letting go of grudges, unforgiveness, anger, and resentment is a step in the right direction.

I hope this blessed you as it blessed me and thank you so much for reading. Love you much!

Shotika