Preparing for Marriage

Hi Everyone!

I know that it has been a few months since I posted a blog. Please forgive me! I am working on some projects that I will be able to announce very soon! I often get asked "How is married life" or "What I wish I had known prior to marriage". There most certainly isn't a manual on how to get it right, and I still have a loooooooooooooong way to go, however there are a few things that I have learned over the past few years that I thought I would share.

I have been married 3.5 years now, and got married when I was 21 years old, so this ain't ya grammy's marriage advice LOL. This is millennial advice Ha! But I think it is still valuable.

My husband and I have found a passion for helping young couples who desire to get married or are currently experiencing marital difficulties. We have attended several marriage conferences, surrounded ourselves with amazing marriages and we have also trained to facilitate conversation for marriages on the brink of divorce. One thing that I have noticed is many marriages that are failing are due to the couples not dealing with past issues as individuals. I often saw broken people get married to other broken people and create a marriage of brokenness. Something else that I have noticed is the perception of marriage is unrealistic. Many people have this Disney ideal of marrying someone and that being the end of their problems and living life Happily Ever After. Don't misunderstand me, I certainly believe you can have a Happily Ever After and I'm living mine but I don't think it comes without conflict.

A few things came to mind when thinking of what I would share with individuals in their Single-hood, while there is so much more here are some things that anyone can start working on at this very moment.

1) Understand Single-hood is a Gift

• Trust me, I understand this sounds cliche but it's true. Paul talked about Single-hood being a gift in 1 Cor 7:7. The MSG version states it like this, "...God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others." While you may not want this gift, you should not reject it. I am not suggesting you have to enjoy this gift for an entire lifetime, however while you have it you should cherish it. Use this time to get to know who you are and accomplish your goals and aspirations until you have someone to share them with. Also, encourage others in their Single-hood. This isn't a curse, so don't treat it as such. Enjoy your friends, travel and prepare yourself in the meantime.

2) Learn Contentment

• Learning Contentment in our society is a challenge. If you struggle with this check out my last blog on "learning contentment" ( https://tika-thoughts.blogspot.com/2017/03/living-life-of-contentment.html). This is such a challenge with social media, we constantly see how successful others are and it can make us re-evaluate our entire lives and this includes relationship status. One of my favorite verses is Philippians 4:11-13 where Paul discusses how he has learned to be content in whatever situation he finds himself in. Learning contentment makes the journey of Single-hood less difficult. This is a practice we all need for everyday life.

3) Prepare Yourself

• "By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail". Marriage is not to be taken likely, it is a lifetime covenant before God and it is to resemble the way Christ loves the church, that's a BIG deal. We invest in the things we want to: appearance, careers, education, etc. but yet we don't invest in marriage OR singleness!! We must invest into these important areas of our life to learn how to be successful in them. Marriage is the one place people feel they don't have to prepare and can jump right in. You may think you know everything there is to know about your spouse, you may have had the most amazing years dating but once you cross over into married life things change. You are now discussing what views and values you want to instill into your children, who does the cooking and who does the cleaning (Don't you dare say the woman!! LOL) and what happens when the financial security is unsure? You can't just exit out of this legally binding contract, so it is better to prepare yourself. In my video I discuss the importance of working on areas in your life that are challenging for you: finances, abuse, self esteem, intimacy challenges, failed marriages, etc. The less you can enter your marriage with the better it will be. You and your partner both should be working on your individual characters to be prepared to be a better spouse for your future spouse. Marriage will reveal many of your character flaws, so try to eliminate the amount of them :) 

There's so much more to learn in marriage. If you want more topics please subscribe and send me an e-mail or comment on some future suggestions. I hope to be blogging much more!

I hope you enjoyed and thank you for reading my blog. Follow me on IG @_TikaCox_

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